20th March, 2023

Biting has to be one of the most highly emotive and frequently discussed topics in early years education. This is because biting can really hurt, cause damage to others, and it can create a world of difficulty for educators having to answer to parents when their child has been bitten.

With any behaviour that is problematic in our learning spaces, our attitude and perception of the child matter hugely. If we feel negative about a child, or view their behaviour as “naughty” or “attention seeking” this will cloud our judgement and provoke responses that can elevate our own behaviour and take us to places we definitely don’t want to be as professionals. Our thoughts and beliefs about a child will most certainly shape our attitudes and consequently our responses to a child’s behaviour. We must remember that we ARE professionals. Therefore our response to children’s biting needs to be calm, measured and with good intentions.

This is the time when we need to draw on all our understanding of child development and psychology. Biting most often occurs in children aged 10 months – 2 years. As we know, this is a pre-verbal stage where children are still developing their ability to communicate and often do not have the words to say what they mean. Everything is still going in their mouth, and they are learning through all their senses. Their cognitive reasoning and moral understanding are only just beginning to take shape. Toddlers are impulsive and still developing self-control of their behaviours. Their primary motivation is learning through cause and effect i.e. when I roll this ball it goes away, when I sink my teeth into this toy it feels good on my gums, when I bite this person they react in an interesting way.

Toddlers who are biting will perceive the reactions from others when they do it, but they are not yet able to consider the perspective of the other person morally. So making them feel guilty or bad, shaming or punishing are not useful. They just have no idea what this all means. Toddlers are learning to recognise how they can make others feel. Biting someone, noticing them crying or jumping away is no different to giving them a toy and noticing them smile. It is cause and effect. Like pushing a button on a toy and watching it pop up. It is intriguing to watch this reaction over and over again, until the child has made sense of this reaction.

Biting is therefore not attention-seeking or naughty. It is a learning and communication tool pure and simple. When we can view biting through this lens as an educator, we are more able to remain in control of our own reactions and behaviour when we respond to it. How we respond matters immensely!

As educators it is important that we observe the circumstances around children who are biting before they bite. Are there any patterns we can notice in their biting?

As hard as it is, we must remind ourselves, when we keep this discourse at the forefront of our thinking we are more likely able to respond calmly and neutrally.

Like any other social behaviour (good manners, waiting for a turn, showing empathy to others) toddlers are more likely to develop desirable habits when these are modelled, repeated and supported by adults who are in control of their own behaviour. It goes without saying that we will never respond to a child’s biting by biting the child back or roughly moving them away to teach them a lesson.

“We help our child and then allow for emotional explosions in response, because children need help with those, too. The assistance they need is an anchor — our patient presence and empathy while they safely ride this wave out. When the wave passes, they need us to acknowledge their feelings, forgive, understand and let go so they can, too. After all, how can we hold a grudge against a person whose impulses are bigger than they are?”

1. Try to prevent biting in the first place if you can. When you see a child is about to bite you can say “I won’t let you bite” and put your hand or a pillow in between the child who is biting and the other child. When you have observed what the triggers may be for this child, you can help to minimise these and try to avoid situations that contribute to this child’s urges to bite.

3. Communicate what needs to happen and then follow through: “I see you are having a hard time not biting, so I will help you.” Give the child something they can bite other than a human. “Looks like you need help” and move next to the child to remove them from the situation.

4. Move the child away from you: If the biting occurs when you are holding the child or are next to them, you will need to calmly, gently put them down on the floor, or move away from them and quietly say “I am going to put you down/move away because that is hurting me.”

Sometimes biting behaviour will continue for longer than usual and we can struggle to help this child to move on. In extreme repeated biting situations, we must continue to act in the best interest of the child and assess what may be contributing to this while also helping to keep other children safe.

1. Ongoing observation of what is contributing to biting. Document details about what happened before and after the biting occurs. What patterns are you noticing in the triggers and responses?

2. Talk to the child’s parents in a professional and caring way. This child’s parents are likely feeling embarrassed or overwhelmed by their child’s behaviour. Remember as a professional it is your role to listen, share your observations and develop a shared, agreeable approach to managing their child’s learning. Consistency is important between home and the centre. Share the strategies that your team are using and make the most of this opportunity to teach parents too.

4. Ask yourself is this child under stress in our environment?

5. Shadow this child as much as possible. If a child is continuously hurting others with their biting, they will need to be allocated a shadow educator to help keep other children safe. This person will need to be calm and consistent in their responses when biting happens. Over and over again. It may be necessary for the shadow educator to wear a name tag “I am shadowing at the moment” which helps other team members know that they are fulfilling this role at this time so that everyone can support this person and not load other responsibilities onto them at the same time.

6. Look for ways to engage this child in learning that satisfy their curiosities and urges in other ways. Being outdoors as much as possible gives the child more space. Mother nature has a way of calming and changing the behaviour of most children.

7. Get external help if necessary. Sometimes when biting persists for weeks on end without any sign of change, the time may come that this child needs further help. More often than not this is not the only behaviour that educators have concerns about. Keeping robust records of observation, action plans and concerns will be helpful when you make a referral for external help.