In every early year's curriculum around the world, there are statements that espouse the importance of providing opportunities for children to self-determine, make choices, and become increasingly capable. And we all genuinely believe children are capable of recognising and responding to their hunger cues and feelings of fullness, so why do we suddenly become dictators when food is served?

Let’s look at what’s holding us back from creating peaceful mealtimes, and how we can move towards empowering our children and bringing the joy back to the table.

Many of us will have poor food habits that began in our early years when we were coerced, made to feel guilty, forced to eat a certain amount, or at rigid times.

When faced with children playing games with food, refusing to eat instinctively kick in, and we find ourselves battling with children over food.

Subconsciously, we hold onto beliefs that don’t serve our children or us, including:

As educators, we not only have our own ingrained food beliefs but are also continuously traversing the tightrope between what parents want for their children, what our colleagues believe, our centre policies, and what we truly know to be good for children. It’s a balancing act and a half!

Over the years, I have seen a broad spectrum of controversial practices in group care environments at mealtimes, including;

Food battles are a common challenge in early years education that frequently creates angst and discord. These practices and behaviours are essentially underpinned by the belief that we know what is best for children in every part of the curriculum, rather than trusting children to recognise and respond to their hunger urges.

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not suggesting we say goodbye to standards and values around manners, not wasting food, not trying the food, or not coming to the table. I am not saying we should just roll out the food and let children take one look and walk away.

However, I think it’s important to take stock of how our personal agendas may lead us into unnecessary power struggles and battles over food and consider how we may contribute to children’s inner voices and early stages of their lifelong relationship with food.

Children in group care spend many hours at the meal table every week (three times a day minimum). The accumulation of the messages being heard and felt at the table impacts their self-belief, autonomy development, and ability to trust their instincts. We allow children to make choices in their play, so we must take the same approach when they come to the table.

Janet Lansbury (RIE Associate), in her book "No bad kids”, offers insight into how to avoid these battles respectfully and recognises children as capable, autonomous people. Janet suggests that to avoid food battles and to lay the foundation for a healthy relationship with food, we can:

Now I can hear the concerns rolling around in your head already…

In my 30+ years of working with children, I have never seen a child willingly starve. I have seen plenty of children eat a minimal amount of food, i.e., my son only ate peanut butter toast, cereal, and bananas between the ages of two and three. But I can assure you, at 24 years old, his diet is healthy, varied, and open-minded.

For some children, choosing what to eat and how much to eat is one of the few places where they can exert power over the adults in their lives. The only time for concern is if the child is unwell or suffering from a medical condition, and in this case, follow directions from a health professional.

I always prefer to respect a child’s ability to choose what and how much they eat. If a child is still refusing to eat (and I know I have offered healthy food choices throughout the day and ensured water is freely available to drink), my first question is, “Does this child have a sound feeling of belonging and is settled and confident in their play?”. If the answer is yes, then this child has strong stamina and the ability to wait for food.

Unfortunately, as early childhood educators, we do not have control over the habits parents have created at home, nor do we have the right to. For some children, the power dynamics they experience over food at home make it too much of a stretch for them to comfortably try new food habits in our care. Or they may just need time, patience, and support to learn we do not enter power battles over food at our centre.

Like all the other areas of child wellbeing, learning, and development, we can offer information and education to parents about food, nutrition, and developing autonomy, but it is not our place to judge.

Our early years' environments allow us to create a climate and routines to empower children as competent, so let's do that in a positive way and bring the joy back into our mealtimes.